Process 001/A “I have too much emotion for a Monday.”

Welcome to the Office for Emotional Emergency Situations,

where the coffee machine overheats before you do –

and where “functioning” is considered optional.

Case file opened at 07:48,

after an applicant appeared barefoot but emotionally armed at the office

and whispered, "I can't be emotional AND awake today."

Application for relief due to acute over-feeling on a structurally unsuitable weekday

Information from the applicant:

– Tired, sensitive to irritation, easily overdosed.

– Suspected diagnosis: Sunday is not yet fully digested,

Montag feels personally attacked.

Reason for the application:

– A conversation about feelings in the supermarket aisle that lasted too long.

– Music in a minor key before the first coffee.

– And a bird that chirped so sweetly.

Result: Emotional catastrophe with a tendency towards self-pity.

Processing by Büro Kitty:

– Measure 1: Feelings are temporarily stored in a Tupperware container.

– Measure 2: Applicant receives a prescription for:

• 1 day under the covers

• 1 episode something with cake (ideally British)

• 3 deep sighs, unfiltered

– Addition: Recommendation for self-help consolation biscuits, variety freely selectable.

– Note: Application has been stamped with a glitter stamp. Just for security.

Status:

Will be ignored.

And that's perfectly fine.

Because not every application needs a solution.

Some just need space on the table –

and someone who says:

“I have the stamp, you have the feeling – we’ll get along.”